So, the
baby wait is over and all is well with the teen mom and the unsuspecting infant
who, unknown to him, was born in the wrong place like so many
others. Every time I take out my
tattered passport upon entering an airport I think what a difference that
document has made in my life. After a
range of due dates from July 30th to September 27th the baby found the courage
to face life as an yet another impoverished, fatherless Guatemalan on Thursday, August 22nd 2013.
The
baby's name is Liam and something that I cannot pronounce and none of his relatives are able to spell it for me. Changes are still possible as he doesn't yet have a birth
certificate. I understand his reluctance in opening his eyes. To be determined is whether
his father's name will be added to the birth certificate. To add his name acknowledges paternity and
also leaves the sperm donor vulnerable to support demands (Estela's choice of
course). To leave that space blank with
all that implies is not that uncommon in the region. No one will bat an eye. Diego who, at 10, wants to learn to write computer code has a blank space on his birth certificate too.
Estela is
less than thrilled about finding herself with yet another child which is the
harsh reality. She gets teary eyed and
says "I never wanted any more kids" which is the lament of many, many
poor Guatemalan women. Denis and Astrid
are trying to ignore the whole thing though I think all three will warm up and
adapt when Liam first smiles at them.
The new
mother continues to study at a feverish rate (even requesting printouts from the internet five days after a Cesarian) and with any luck (and a lot of
help from her mother) will gain her "bachillerato" (high school
diploma) in another year. With that in
hand from a respected private school her job prospects will be greatly enhanced
and, hopefully, then, she and Liam will be launched.
Denis
continues to show enthusiasm for his studies and actually has a plan which
involves learning how to be a mechanic and then working as one while he studies
to be an engineer. He is working on
non-school days as an apprentice mechanic with a mechanic recommended by my
occasional driver, Vinicio. Vinicio is a
rare, honest decent Guatemalan gentleman who has taken an interest in
Denis. So, three days a week Denis
spends his days away from his estrogen loaded house in a man's world. Good for him.
He loves it and recently stepped right up when a tire on my car was
hopelessly flat. Like men all over the
world he declined to read the instructions so we eventually had to call in some
reinforcements which helped him to get the job done.
Astrid,
13 and pushing 21, is on vacation from school as her school is on the US schedule. She is looking forward to doing ninth grade in (hopefully) the US on an exchange program. She and Diego both go for English tutoring
most afternoons and they have become great buddies. Recently, I took Astrid to Lake Átitlan for a few days with the provision that we only speak
English. Though she had seen the lake
once before when she was about 6 or 7 she was pretty dazzled and mentioned
wanting to stay for a month.
The
expectation in all of the private schools is that there is a computer at home
possibly even with Internet access. The
older kids have an old beat up desktop with "Khan on a Stick"
(courtesy of www.worldpossible.org) on it so they can watch the
Khan Academy math and science videos offline.
The younger kids don't even have a television much less a computer at
home.
Thus,
with the help of some cheap refurbished laptops I have more or less turned my
house into a cyber café. The laptops have the kids' names written in
masking tape on top. They use the Khan
Academy website in English and when they need an assist in Spanish know how to
switch to the offline videos. Diego just
took one home for two weeks while I was out of the country. His is loaded with KA Lite, the offline
version of the Khan Academy website. He
is charged with the responsibility of helping his little brother, Cristofer,
with KA Lite. Cristofer, 6, is not yet
in first grade but is already a math whiz.
Mishelle,
5, prefers an iPad for her tiny fingers but recently got into playing some offline educational games
from World Possible with her brothers.
She had to use both hands to drag letters into place but I was
pleasantly surprised that she could read the words, translate the words and
then drag the letters into place. Bravo
to her school, Oxford Bilingual Educational Institute and Maria Montessori.
As for
"papa" we recently had a meeting with a psychologist to discuss where
papa is and why. Cristofer acknowledged
that "he is in jail" and offered, when asked why, "I think he is
a robber". He admitted that one
schoolmate had asked him if his father was in jail and that he had told him
"yes, it is true but don't tell anyone because it is a secret." We told the two that they could just say that
their father had gone away, that he had taken a trip. "He is in Spain," Cristofer
offered.
"Papa"
was the furthest thing from their mind on a recent trip to the Pacific
coast. The journey included a 12
kilometer drive off road through a large farm. The five (not the pregnant teen) hung out of
the car windows marveling at the sugar came, cattle, pigs, chicken, geese and
more along the way. On his first ever
view of the ocean Cristofer said "wow, where did it come from?" Good question.
Marielos
(mom #2) seems to be finally letting go of "papa." She has a new cell phone number and no longer
answers the old one. Hispanics
everywhere end relationships by tossing their sim chips in the trash and
changing their cell phone numbers. Marielos expressed a fair amount of disgust
when I told her that Alex had, once again, called my house asking for
money. Estela told him that I wasn't home. Marielos has been given her first
ever job cleaning at Cris and Mishelle's school. I credit that ego boost and the work with the
psychologist in getting her closer and closer to trashing that old cell phone
chip.
1 comment:
Doesn't matter what happened before, there dads fate, or what has happened amongst the many other fatherless kids in Guatemala (and anywhere else)...what matters is what is happening (as pictured above) and the hope, real life experience and the genuine place for each to be appreciated that you give freely. Freely of yourself, right here and right now for this group of kids. That's love. That's exceptional and not a accident. For those huge/everyday acts of support and nurturing you are to be thanked and commended. Thanked everyday by them and by all of us who witness this huge act of caring enough to give lots of help in your own very specialized and well-meaning way. Good for you, Joan, it's one child at a time and this group of children are doing very, very well. You are adding to the difference between bleak and enlightened. Three cheers for you and best wishes for a healthy life for Liam too.
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